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  • How to Attract Quality, Long-Term Tenants.

    How to Attract Quality, Long-Term Tenants.

    quality long term tenant

    As a long-time renter I notice a significant difference between the quality of long-term and short-term rental properties.

    Essentially, properties targeted at tourists tend to be better presented and generally more inviting places to spend time in than properties targeted at long-term tenants – especially in locations where rental property is in short supply.

    And in my opinion, this is a short-sighted strategy.

    When accommodation is in high demand property owners can be confident that their properties will rent, as long as they’re in reasonable habitable condition. However, tenants come in all shapes and sizes – and that includes their tendency to look after their homes, or not.

    Quality tenants are like gold – they will take good care of your property and pay you for the privilege. And long-term tenants, who will stay two years and longer before moving on, mean far fewer headaches for landlords.

    But quality long-term tenants are as discerning about where they commit to living as property owners are about their ability to pay the rent.

    To avoid having to put your property back out on the rental market every twelve months – and the associated headaches of sifting through potential tenants to find the gems – then step into the shoes of your tenants.

    If you were to live into your own property for the next two to three years, would you be happy to do so as it is right now? Or would you want some changes made?

    If the décor and furniture are a bit on the dated side, and the place is draughty and cold, or there is a general sense of being unloved, then quality tenants aren’t going to be that attracted. And maybe, due to shortage, they may sign on the dotted line – but mentally they’ll be treating it as a short-term necessity tiding them over until they find a property that they can see themselves calling “home”.

    Discerning tenants will be looking for certain qualities in a property that reassure them they will be comfortable and happy there. And tenants who are comfortable and happy where they’re living will stay for a long time.

    If you’re looking for tenants of this calibre, then here are some tips to help you attract them:

    Repaint before putting the property back on the market.

    Neutral colours are the best, but avoid beige. It’s really just blah. Instead opt for soft whites, soft greys and pastel colours. And if your new tenants ask for permission to paint, grant it. (And if it hasn’t recently been repainted and needs it anyway, then pay for the paint.)

    Insulate properly.

    If your property is hard to heat, or expensive to heat, then after one winter your tenants will be on the lookout for a toastier home. Ensure your attic is properly insulated and that your doors and windows aren’t draughty. If there are open fireplaces, consider installing a stove or a fire-door to diminish heat-loss through the chimney.

    Furnish with current, quality and tasteful décor.

    Your rental property shouldn’t be a place where your family’s tired old furniture goes to die. It should be comfortable, properly scaled for the space (that is, no bulky, oversized furniture sucking up all the space out of a room) and fairly neutral in style.

    If the sofa has a dated pattern, style it with a sufficiently large throw to neutralise the aesthetic. And if there is orange pine everywhere, then paint it. Not only is it dated and off-putting to most, it can also suck the light out of small spaces. Painting skirtings, doors and frames, bannisters and kitchen cupboards in a soft white can dramatically brighten up a space that was previously dominated by orange wood.

    Speaking of orange pine, if your tenants ask for permission to paint that or other shabby furniture, grant it. They’ll be doing you a massive favour. (Feel free to negotiate colour choice with them.)

    Within reason, make requested changes.

    This could be removing a few items of furniture to make room for their own, adding storage if needed, replacing mattresses etc. All of these actions will demonstrate the qualities of a good landlord, which is important to discerning tenants. If they like you and consider you to be reasonable and fair, this will also help to secure a longer let.

    Consider allowing pets.

    Most landlords prefer a no-pets policy as they’re concerned that they may cause some damage to furniture and flooring. Well, humans (especially ones that come with small children) can cause just as much damage as a cat or dog – and usually an awful lot more! To protect against these risks there are references and security deposits.

    Ticking the pet-friendly box can give your property the edge in securing long-term quality tenants. They’re not just looking for a place that works for them, but one that works for their pet too. Their choices are limited compared to non-pet people, as they’ll often require ground floor level with access to a garden. And if they can find a good quality property that fits the bill, they’ll be keen for a long-term stay.

    So while it may seem logical and practical, refusing pets can actually be counter-intuitive if the property would be a good fit for someone with a cat or dog.

    Overall, the golden rule is to take good care of your rental property and show a keen interest in supporting your tenant’s needs. Once they have moved in, then respect their privacy and show up only to deal with issues they have flagged – and agree the date and time in advance.

    In the end, all of the above can be boiled down to one simple guidline. Be a quality landlord and attracting long-term quality tenants will be a breeze.

    You may also be interested in:

    Staging your Home to Rent or Sell

    9 Things to Do Before Putting your Home on the Market

  • 9 Things to Do Before You Put Your Home on the Market.

    9 Things to Do Before You Put Your Home on the Market.

    selling your home

    When selling your home, unless it’s an undeniable fixer-upper, then most people will benefit from making some upgrades to their property before it goes on the market.

    Even if your home is in good condition, taking some time to invest in small upgrades can reap rewards in terms of a quicker sale and a better price.

    In the business, it’s called staging. And that doesn’t have to mean a super-contrived presentation. But it is important that when presenting your home it is done in a manner that will particularly appeal to your target markets.

    Whether you’re targeting first time buyers, growing families, or down-sizing empty-nesters, think about the kind of lifestyle they’ll typically be looking to fulfill through their new home – and show them that.

    And make sure every room is tidy and spotlessly clean for the photos – and maintain that standard for every viewing.

    In addition to these general guidelines, following are some important pointers to also consider (and act upon):

    Get an objective opinion of how your space presents to potential buyers.

    It’s not unusual for home-owners to have blind spots when it comes to how well-presented their homes are. Living with the space day in and day out, we become accustomed to the surroundings and may stop noticing that the décor is dated, the colour palette is drab or all the little jobs that need doing that we just haven’t gotten around to.

    But when we are selling our homes, we need to try and step into the shoes of potential buyers. Will they be able to see themselves ‘at home’ in our spaces?

    Ask someone you trust to be honest with you – either a friend who’s not afraid to be frank, or a professional – about everything they see in your home which might be any kind of deterrent. Walk around your entire home together and make a list – what needs freshening up, what needs repairing, and what needs removing or replacing?

    Resistance may arise as tasks are pointed out to you, but it’s important to be open to this feedback. Remember, if you want to move on to a new place you have to be ready to change the appearance of your current place. You won’t be the one to live with them anyway, so they don’t have to be to your taste.

    And – added bonus – making these changes can also help you to let go of your emotional attachment to your home, which can only be helpful to the entire process of selling.

    Declutter

    This is crucial! Buyers want to be able to see the space clearly and imagine their own furniture in situ. If there’s too much stuff everywhere, it makes this visualisation process tricky.

    As well as that, the space will seem smaller than it is and it may even feel claustrophobic. Clutter will also subliminally suggest to viewers that your property doesn’t have sufficient storage.

    View decluttering as the first step in the moving process. If you’re going to be moving to a new home you’ll need to start packing. So start by packing up and moving out – to friends, the local charity shop, or the recycling centre – whatever you don’t use or love and therefore don’t need to lug with you to your new home!

    Decluttering needs to include furniture too. If there are too many items for the space, making circulation around a room confined, then you need to edit.

    As well as improving the visual presentation of your home, decluttering is renowned for having an emotional impact. When we physically let go of superfluous things in our homes, we can let go of emotional connections we associate with these things. What can feel like a laborious and difficult process as we start out, can have a magically alchemical effect on our energy if we fully commit to it.

    And even if it doesn’t, it will definitely help your house look more attractive to potential buyers.

    Neutralise strong wall colours.

    You want buyers to remember the space and the light, not the wall colours!

    And if neutral spells bland and boring to you, remember you’re hoping to be moving on soon. Strong colours have an impact, and your prospective buyers might not have the same favourable response to your personal colour choices.

    Neutral walls fade into the background and allow viewers to focus their attention on the available space in each room. And it also helps them to visualise their own furniture “working” with the space (even if they do plan on changing the colour themselves anyway).

    Neutral palettes include white, off-white, cream/beige, grey and pastel colours.

    Make repairs!

    All those little niggly repairs you’ve been meaning to get around to need to be taken care of before your house goes on the market. It’s a mistake to think you needn’t bother as a new owner will probably change things up anyway.

    Lots of broken or unfinished items around the home will make it appear as though it needs a greater level of updating than may actually be the case. And the more work a prospective buyers feels they’d need to do, then the less they will want to pay. Or, even worse, the less likely they’ll feel inclined to buy it at all.

    Update dingy flooring and dated cupboards.

    If carpets are tatty or lino is worn out, then replace it. A smart new floor doesn’t have to be super expensive but can make your property appear fresher and move-in ready to prospective buyers. (And maybe you won’t need to replace the flooring, but simply have it professionally cleaned – but get the opinion of your trusted friend before you decide which way to go.)

    The important thing is that it should either be eye-catching in a good way, or unremarkable in the sense that it doesn’t draw negative attention.

    Outdated cupboard doors, whether on kitchen cabinets, hall cupboards or wardrobes would also benefit from being spruced up with paint. And if you’re willing to do this yourself, it’s an inexpensive way to dramatically update the look.

    Audit the lighting in each room.

    Living areas need to be fairly well lit, so if your kitchen, living and dining spaces don’t receive sufficient natural lighting, look at ways to improve it.

    The simple steps are to fully open blinds and curtains – don’t go for any fancy draping of the windows that will only partially allow the light in. And make sure all lights work properly, replacing any burnt out bulbs so that the lights will work for photographs and viewings.

    In addition to adding additional lighting (overhead pendants, floor and table lamps, wall sconces), you could also add a mirror to help bounce the light around the room and brighten it up.

    Present each room with a particular purpose.

    There should be no junk room or empty rooms. If you have one of these clear out the junk and present the room in a functional manner, such as an extra bedroom, a home office, play room etc. (again, thinking about which market is likely to be attracted to your home).

    Every room should make sense and have a use that would be clear and relevant to potential buyers. Don’t leave it up to their imagination to dream up a use for a weird space – lots of people won’t be able to fill in those blanks, and nobody wants to be paying for square footage that they can’t see themselves using.

    Depersonalise.

    While you do want to present your home as a lived-in and loved space, edit the number of personal items on display. The more personally your property is presented, the less universal appeal it will have to potential buyers.

    Our personal paraphernalia suggests a lifestyle that will be particular to some of your viewers, but potentially alienating to others. And it’s better to avoid that as much as possible.

    When too much of our own personal details are on display, it can distract viewers from what we want them to focus on – the overall space and how well it may work for them and their own  lifestyles.

    You want your home to appeal to as many viewers as possible within your target market. If any aspect of its presentation is off-putting to some of them, then it can take longer to find your perfect buyer. So edit your collection of family photos to just a few, and carefully curate any collections of trophies or other keep-sakes. And remove obvious signs of particular religious or political persuasions.

    The overall aim, if your home screams of a particular lifestyle or interest, is to scale back all the obvious markers so that anyone within your target market won’t be immediately be put off by what you’ve got on display.

    Kerb appeal is a big deal.

    As we all know, first impressions can be lasting. When it comes to selling your home, first impressions are extremely important. So be sure to clean up the outside of your home too.

    The path and driveway should be clean and easy to navigate. Tidy up all lawns and plants and clean your front door. And if it’s looking tatty, then paint it.

    How your home looks from the outside sets the tone…it tells viewers whether or not the property is being well cared for. So don’t neglect this important step – and make sure that when viewers do cross the threshold what greets them inside follows up strongly on those first impressions.

    You may also be interested in:

    Staging to Sell

    30 Day Decluttering Challenge

  • Case Study: Rental Home Makeover on a Budget (Living Room)

    Case Study: Rental Home Makeover on a Budget (Living Room)

    budget rental home makeover

    Decorating a rental property to our own taste does have its challenges, especially if it comes fully or partly furnished. But it is completely possible to do a rental home makeover on a budget, if you get creative with your resources.

    Most landlords are looking for reliable tenants who will take good care of the property, so showing an interest in the decor can be viewed as a positive trait. Many owners are willing to allow tenants to repaint and will consider removing some furniture too. They may set some restrictions around colour selection or require it to be returned to a neutral colour when moving out, but it is always worth discussing possibilities as repainting alone can make a dramatic change to the look and feel of your rental home.

    Other suggestions – if they will make improvements to the functionality of the property – may also be welcomed, eg putting up curtains over draughty doorways, adding shelving etc.

    My most recent home. (I move a lot.)

    This is my current rental home and I was working with a limited budget  – and some furniture that comes with it. However, I’m blessed with an amenable landlady who allowed repainting according to my own taste, and who also welcomed additional suggested improvements.

    My home doesn’t look like a contender for the front cover of a magazine….but I like it that way. (I can make yours look like one though, if you want.)

    The “Before” photos were taken on moving-in day (before I brought in any of my own stuff) and the rug belonged to the previous resident, so that was not something to be kept in the scheme. I had some furniture but more was sourced over time. When you move into a new space – and especially when working with small budgets – slow decor is advisable. Spend some time living in the space to get a clear idea of what functional improvements need to be made to suit how you like to live. With this clarity you can start searching for pieces that suit your taste, based on how they will meet your needs and fit your space.

    Rushing out to buy items to immediately create the aesthetic you want may result in acquiring pieces that will ultimately create problems around how your new home actually functions for you, day to day. So, resist that urge and take your time. This also increases your chances of sourcing what you need at lower prices.  (In this room, almost everything I added was sourced second-hand.)

    My Style – and what I wanted to do with the place.

    I’d describe my style as vintage eclectic, and while I’m very drawn to mid-century pieces in particular, I also appreciate a wide range of styles – including modern. Over the last couple of years I’ve found myself moving a little towards minimalism (although nowhere near purism), but still like the cosiness of a bohemian vibe.

    Straight-off, I knew I wanted to change the colour of the room and the dated curtains, acquire a sofa and get rid of at least one of the armchairs as there wouldn’t be enough space for them all once a sofa was put in. The (draughty) front door opens right into the living room, which is also open to the kitchen. There are two big windows in this room too and the floor is tiled. With this in mind I wanted to create a visually cosy feel through a mix of textures and some warm colour.

    I also wasn’t keen on the dado rail as the house is not a period property and it felt out of place (and I wasn’t a fan of the biscuity colour below it). Initially I was thinking of painting the full wall in one colour so the dado rail would blend away and be less obvious. However, taking my chosen colour palette and the direction of the natural light into consideration, I decided against that.

    The Colour Palette.

    The inspiration for the colour palette was an original painting in blue and green – a mandala of the Buddhist mantra Om Mani Padme Hum.

    Green and blue are both calm-inducing colours, but they are also on the cooler end of the spectrum. This living room has a dual perspective, with one window north-east facing and the other south-east facing. The south-east window does bring in warm light in the morning, but from afternoon onwards – and in winter – the room has a duller light coming in.

    The living room also opens onto the kitchen which had a burnt-orange wall that I love and wanted to keep. Orange works well with both green and blue (the three together form a split-complementary scheme). However, to paint the whole wall in either green or blue would have made the living room feel quite cold in the evenings. Ruling out green or blue walls, I was looking for a neutral option that would work with the green/blue/orange scheme.

    After some deliberation, I decided to keep the magnolia wall above the dado rail (it was recently painted and didn’t need redoing), and to paint below with a contemporary grey. To do the whole wall in magnolia felt a bit dated, and to do it all in grey would have had the same cooling effect as the green or blue. But combining the grey with the magnolia brings the neutral backdrop more up to date. And the grey against the white looks smart and makes the dado rail feel less dated than in the previous scheme.

    Furnishings and Décor.

    Although I would have preferred floor length curtains, with the radiator sitting below one of the windows I didn’t want to block the heat through long curtains drawn on winter evenings (especially with the front door opening in to the living room). I did begin a hunt for affordable floor length curtains to be hung above the door and had a bargain second-hand find for machine washable, lined curtains in an off-white. They didn’t work against the magnolia wall, so I dyed them olive green – the dye picked out the embossed pattern in the fabric and the overall effect was a pair of curtains that looked far more expensive than the original, and cost a total of €32 (including the cost of the dye).

    The sofa was also a bargain find – a barely-used two-seater, it was in great condition but had a dated pattern on the seat and back. This would be more of a problem for someone who wants modern, clean lines. But for someone who likes a Boho touch, compromises can be made here – as long as the piece is of good enough quality to meet the functional need. A throw hides the pattern and can be chosen in whatever colour works with the overall palette. You can even switch out the look from season to season, or whenever you get bored, by simply swapping the throw.

    budget rental home makeoverOnce I sourced the sofa, my landlady kindly removed the old recliner armchair. I put throws on the other armchairs (the day I moved in) – not to hide the cream covers but to protect them from my black cat’s hair. Essentially, the green, blue and orange colour palette was applied through these soft furnishings and artwork.

    The green curtains for both windows were another bargain find and only cost €5 for both pairs! While I was seeking curtains that wouldn’t cover the radiator, these are shorter than I’d like and I’m keeping an eye out for something better. But in the meantime, I do like the colour and fabric and they’re quite an upgrade (not to mention update) on the previous curtains which were probably there since the house was first built (twenty years ago).

    The jute rug came with the house (lying beneath the previous resident’s rug in the ‘Before’ picture). I go through phases of layering a smaller green, blue and white striped rug over it, but at the moment I’m sporting the more minimal look. When I bought the sofa, the lady threw in this 70’s coffee table – I didn’t really want it at the time, but I did need a coffee table and took it as an interim measure. When I put it in place I really liked it – it fit the vintage vibe perfectly.

    Over time it proved not so practical and I really wanted a coffee table with a shelf underneath (preferably a round one to offset all the angular shapes in the room). I still haven’t found the perfect one, but I did find another 70’s coffee table with a shelf beneath which I painted. I’m not mad keen on the pointy corners, but as an interim measure it’s more practical.

    budget rental home makeoverI have had a mid-century record cupboard for over two decades now and the combination of the various pieces was starting to bring about that vintage vibe, without being too rigidly attached to any one particular style. I fell in love with this 1940’s bureau and placed that inside the front door, moving the chest of drawers that started out there into the bedroom.

    Although I didn’t need a standard lamp, I couldn’t pass up this 70’s lamp I spotted in a local charity shop for just €7. I’ve been searching for the right shade ever since and as an interim measure I got this cream shade (it was cream when I bought it) in our local Homeland store, for another €7. It needed some contrast against the magnolia wall, so until I find the perfect shade (or I might cover this one in fabric), I have painted it orange (with left-over paint from the kitchen that I found in the shed).

    Initially I planned to install shelves in the alcove beside the fireplace (with my landlady’s blessing). But I’ve had a simple low book case (the first flat-pack piece of furniture I ever built) for twenty odd years which is an almost perfect fit (there’s a couple of milimetres of a gap), and I spruced that up with a coat of white paint and lifted it into place.

    For now I’m quite content with the living room. I do want a better coffee table and slightly longer curtains…and maybe a different rug. I don’t love the mirror above the fireplace (not mine) and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’d replace the sofa for something more contemporary if I had a windfall. But with our homes we’ll always have tweaks and improvements we want to make. It keeps us from getting bored with our environment.

    With or without these potential replacements, when I sit down to relax in this room and I look around, I am pleased with the electic mix and the overall vibe. Even with all the grey, blue and green the room has a warm, cosy feel thanks to all the orange splashes throughout and the mix of textures. In the summer it felt bright and welcoming and in the winter it feels cosy and inviting.

    And (naturally) I rearrange the furniture regularly. (A great tip for a zero-cost makeover!)

    If you’d like some tips on how to complete your own rental home makeover on a budget maybe one of my Pick My Brain sessions would be of benefit to you. If you’re interested, do get in touch. I provide them in person in west Mayo and Limerick city and suburbs, or online via Skype or Zoom.

  • Create a Home Altar to Bring the Sacred into your Everyday Life.

    Create a Home Altar to Bring the Sacred into your Everyday Life.

    An altar is a sacred place.

    Sacred in the sense of displaying items that are meaningful and symbolic to us. Not necessarily sacred in a religious sense, although it can be if we so wish.

    And while most of us probably grew up associating altars with churches, temples, and more religiously-inclined locations, it is becoming less unusual to see them in homes.

    As our understanding of spirituality broadens beyond the dogmatic concepts taught by organised religions into an evolving and growing understanding of our own true selves — and how we are connected with all that exists in our world — it’s becoming less weird to set up an altar in our personal space to visually remind us of what is important to each of us, individually.

    What makes our altars sacred is the representation of values, qualities, beliefs — even goals — we assign personal significance to. It helps us to ground our connection with what we hold dear — and with the Divine, if we wish to feel that connection too.

    It can be used as a focal point during meditation or chanting, or it can simply be a visual tool to remind us to be mindful of aligning with our own highest self, and highest calling.

    Setting up an home altar.

    Ideally, we would set up our altar in a place where we will see it daily — and preferably, frequently throughout the day. Choose a raised surface such as a small table, a shelf or a window sill. It can also be placed on a larger table with boundaries set for the altar area by using a tray or a cloth on which the altar objects are placed.

    Once you’ve chosen the location for your altar, gather some “sacred” pieces for placement. These can be statues or images of spiritual deities, Christian saints, angels — whatever you feel a connection with. Any elemental items that you feel drawn to such as stones, feathers, shells — things that you may have gathered on walks that have some meaning for you. Live plants and flowers are a good touch (and also help to represent the elements of nature). You could place an envelope with a personal intention (or intentions for each area of your life) on it. Crystals, incense, and candles are good for activating the altar.

    Before you place your items, first cleanse the space. Physically clean the area and then energetically clear it with sound (chimes, bells, or a singing bowl) or incense. Then intentionally place each item on the altar in a spot that feels right to you, being mindful of the reason this item has been selected for this sacred place.

    Attend to your altar regularly. Dust it and the items on it. Change the items on it whenever it feels right to do so. Allow it to be ever-evolving — like your life — and always reflecting what matters to you most right now.

    Light your candles and incense. If you have any bells or chimes on it, use them too. If you meditate daily and your altar is in a place where you can comfortably sit or kneel before it, this would be a wonderful place to conduct your daily practice. If it’s not a comfortable spot for meditation, then maybe a small daily prayer or invocation might feel good. Or, if you choose a daily card from an oracle deck, you could also place it here to remind you throughout the day of the message.

    Every altar is extremely personal and when we attune to it on a regular basis it becomes a space that helps us connect with our highest self. It can help to influence our mood and outlook, reminding us to hand problems beyond our control over to a higher power. It can remind us of our own personal intentions for how we want to be in the world, or simply to slow down for a minute or two and connect with the present moment through our breath.

    The possibilities of how to use an altar are endless. It’s up to each of us to decide where to put it, what to put on it, how to use it, and what intentions to activate through it.

    But creating a home altar, and taking a moment or two to pause there each day, brings the sacred into the mundane everyday. And over time these sacred moments build up into a more mindful approach to how we live our lives.

    First published on The Urban Howl.

  • Get Ready to Hygge your Way to Health & Wellbeing.

    Get Ready to Hygge your Way to Health & Wellbeing.

    hygge

    The Danish concept of Hygge (pronounced hue-guh) became something of a global phenomenon a couple of years back with the publication of a number of books on the subject.

    This lead it to become a leading trend in the interiors world for the autumn and winter seasons. And now, as with most trends, interest has moved on and Hygge is like so 2016…

    Except in Denmark, hygge is not merely a concept — trendy or otherwise. It is a way of life that contributes to Danes consistently ranking in the top three happiest folks on the planet.

    For the rest of us, trying to understand what hygge is exactly, it was explained as a feeling of cosiness and contentment. And it was portrayed through images of candles, blankets and mugs of hot tea and cocoa. Which led to many an outcry that we were all doing hygge already — we just didn’t have this fancy-ass name for it.

    But actually, there’s more to hygge than having a cosy night in with family or friends — although that certainly counts as a hyggelig (hyyge-like) activity. In Denmark, hygge is a year-round practice and not just a means of getting through the cold, dark winter (although it does help to promote wellbeing during the harsher seasons).

    Integrating true hygge into our own daily lives would help us all to reach Danish levels of happiness and wellbeing — and all that requires is slowing down and appreciating the simple things in life.

    Hygge is about consciousness, being present, being grateful and deliberately making the most of life’s simple pleasures.

    Those pleasures include getting together with friends and family, whether in front of a roaring fire or in the midst of nature. They include appreciating good food, whether alone or in company. They include all the cosy elements that Instagram taught us to associate with the term hygge, such as candles, blankets and delicious, hot beverages on cold wintry evenings.

    Any activity where we consciously inject and appreciate intimacy, comfort and contentment can lead to increased wellbeing, so all of these activities count.

    Hygge also includes daily rituals — and they can be as simple as taking the time to sit and enjoy our morning tea or coffee, instead of gulping it down as we race about getting ready to leave for work.

    We don’t have to go out and buy new cushions and throws and create a Pinterest or Instagram-worthy living room. We simply need to consciouslyappreciate the comfort of our living rooms instead of vegging-out in an unconscious manner.

    Choosing to curl up with a book and a hot toddy, instead of flicking mindlessly through trashy TV channels. Although watching TV can also be hyggelig — when we’re actively engaged with and enjoying what we’re watching, as opposed to merely distracting ourselves from whatever is going on in our lives.

    If you’re having a night in, light a candle, get as cosy as possible and appreciate the experience. If you’re cooking a meal, consciously infuse the food you’re preparing with love. Take time every day to slow down and do at least one thing with conscious care.

    In autumn and winter it certainly helps to make our homes all comfy and cosy — it softens the harshness of the weather. And the harsh weather also provides an excuse to enjoy cosy, intimate evenings with family, friends, or even alone.

    But true Hygge goes deeper. It’s about being appreciative of what’s good in the moment, and making the moment as good as it can be. And it can be experienced in the great outdoors, not just in cosy indoor spaces.

    So, instead of hibernating all winter, dress for the weather and get outdoors and embrace it. Long walks in nature, especially in the company of loved ones — be they human or furry — are great for the soul.

    And in spring and summertime, practice even more hyggelig activities outdoors. Instead of board-games in front of the fire, have picnics in the park or barbecues in the back garden.

    Hygge is a feeling of contentment and wellbeing. We don’t need to use the term in our day to day life (unless we live in Denmark), but it really is of benefit to incorporate rituals and experiences into our daily lives that generate that hyggelig feeling.

    Embrace more and more of life’s simple pleasures and practice them regularly. No matter what you call it, embrace the hyggelig way of living simply to the fullest.

    First published on Medium.

    Photo by Emily Rudolph on Unsplash

  • The Most Important Thing to Know and Remember when Learning to Meditate.

    The Most Important Thing to Know and Remember when Learning to Meditate.

    Meditation is a process of quieting the mind.

    But—for most people—the mind will not be perfectly still during meditation. In fact—for most people—the mind will be quite active throughout.

    There will be moments of stillness and those moments are of the utmost importance. During those moments healing takes place—on the physical, mental and emotional levels. And during those moments we also strengthen our connection with our highest, truest self.

    However, we cannot be aware of those moments. For to be aware of them is to be thinking. We may have blissful feelings that give us an inkling of the experience of stillness and we may have none of these inklings.

    It doesn’t matter—we need to trust in the process and continue to practice even if our experience isn’t matching our expectation.

    The number one reason why people give up meditating is because they think they are having too many thoughts. And they interpret that experience to mean one of two things: either they’re not doing it right, or it’s not working.

    As long as you become aware of your mind drifting off and continually bring it back to whatever focus you’ve chosen, such as a mantra or your breath, then you’re doing it correctly. So, continue to practice and hold off any judgements about it.

    Our judgements are the primary stumbling block.

    We need to remember that meditation is a self-care and spiritual practice—not chill-out time. I’m not knocking chill-out time, or saying that it can’t be that too. But it’s much more than that. And even if it feels tedious instead of ‘relaxing’—as it often will—that doesn’t mean it’s not benefiting us.

    The secret to establishing a daily meditation habit is to stop expecting any specific experience and stop judging the experience we have.

    Just do it—day in, day out—regardless of whether we consider ourselves to be good or bad at it.

    Don’t compare your experience with the experiences of others, either. That only feeds the judgement. Each of us will have our own experience—the one that is right for us at the time. Accept that and keep going with it.

    After you have a daily habit established, then pay attention to changes in your life—improvements in your health, less reactionary to situations, greater self-awareness, improved ability to deal with stress (or fewer experiences of stress). These are the things we judge our meditation by—not how busy or quiet our minds are during the sit.

    And these benefits take time to accrue.

    So, be patient and give it time. Let go of the judgements and just do it.

    First published on elephantjournal.com
    Image: John Hain/Flickr

    You might also be interested in:

    Come Om with Me – a 28 day online meditation course

  • Demystifying Meditation: A Skeptic’s Guide.

    Demystifying Meditation: A Skeptic’s Guide.

    Although I’m a certified meditation teacher, I grew up a skeptic and I understand where the skeptics are coming from. I respect their wariness of various spiritual practices, especially if it falls into the “new age” category—I once was very wary too.

    And in fact, I still remain skeptical of certain modalities. I don’t blindly trust everything but I am open to trying things out for myself. If I notice a real benefit, then I’ll endorse it. If not, I’ll dismiss it as not for me.

    But meditation is different. Meditation has the science world at its back and so even skeptics can embrace the practice. These days, it seems everyone is aware of the real benefits to be attained from meditation—the challenge is not in persuading people that it works, but more to get busy, stressed people to give some of their precious time to trying it out.

    My mission is to reach those who think they don’t have the time to meditate—the stay at home moms who are never off-duty, the workaholic executives, the shift workers whose body clocks have to constantly readjust to changing routines, the full-time workers who are also full-time parents, those working two jobs to make ends meet—and help them develop a daily meditation habit despite their crazy schedules.

    Because the truth is, even five minutes a day can make a difference to our wellbeing. Every meditation counts and regular practice is more important than long sessions.

    I’ve been intending to create an infographic to help with this, but my efforts to date have frustrated me. Not being a graphic designer, I struggled to create what I wanted using online templates. So, when I came across this one my heart did a little dance with joy.

    A fellow skeptic, award-winning journalist and ABC news anchor, Dan Harris discovered the benefits of meditation following an on-air panic attack. The practice helped him to stop taking drugs and reduce his stress levels without affecting his focus, which he recounts in his book titled 10% Happier’ . He also teamed up with Happify.com to create the following infographic which is a perfect guide for those who are new to the practice.

    If you’ve been thinking about it, but resisting for some reason, then I recommend you check this out:

    First published on elephantjournal.com

  • The Flaw with Positive Thinking & What to Do About it.

    The Flaw with Positive Thinking & What to Do About it.

    As a reformed, natural-born pessimist, I am keenly aware of the power of positive thinking.

    How we think and how we feel are inextricably linked.

    For most people—unless dealing with hormonal imbalances in the body, or chemical imbalances in the brain—our thoughts usually determine our feelings. Therefore, to feel good, we must reframe negative thoughts into a more positive light.

    There really is no way of getting around this—we cannot possibly expect to feel “happy” if our thought patterns have a constant critical or pessimistic bias. And yet, if you’ve tried it, you may have noticed that “positive thinking” has quite a limited effect.

    In my opinion, this is because too much emphasis is placed on positive thinking and not enough on actually dealing with our (pre-existing) negative thoughts and feelings first. We must respect and honor the feelings that our previous thoughts have conjured up.

    It isn’t enough to recognize we are feeling sh*tty about something and just reframe our thoughts. We must allow the feeling to disperse—and this requires us to feel it first, rather than suppress it.

    But most of us are unwilling to do this. As soon as an uncomfortable emotion arises we move to quash it. We’d just rather not go there and the theory of applying a “positive thinking” balm seems way more appealing.

    But to reframe our thoughts without allowing the emotions to properly arise within us, is to put the cart before the horse. It’s like spraying deodorant on unwashed armpits, or putting a plaster on a cut that needs stitches—it might temporarily disguise the mess, but the mess will fester and get worse.

    It may seem counter-intuitive to suggest that in order to be happy we must allow ourselves to feel sad, frustrated, fearful, jealous—or whatever else arises. But, to me, happiness is not a frivolous, superficial, happy-clappy state. By my definition, happiness is an overall sense of wellbeing that includes trusting in our ability to move through whatever comes up. It is riding the waves and being willing to feel all the emotions that arise—even the uncomfortable ones.

    And in order to be truly happy, we must acknowledge our painful experiences and heal from them. If we don’t, then we carry them around within us—they are held within our bodies, ready and waiting to be triggered by new events that, in some small way, spark a memory of our past traumas.

    Even leaving aside the more deeply scarring events, we need to feel our everyday, ordinary, not-so-traumatic, but nonetheless unsettling emotions. Be aware of what we’re feeling and tune into it. Ask ourselves what thoughts we’ve been fuelling around this issue. And then sit with the feeling a little bit.

    By simply allowing ourselves to feel it, our bodies are able to release it.

    And once we’ve done this, then it’s time for “positive thinking.” This is the point where we need to reframe our thoughts so we can start to feel better. When we start to think differently, we will feel differently.

    Our outlook on life is definitely a crucial aspect of our wellbeing, but it’s not the only part. For lasting results—and true happiness—we need to stop running away from our emotions. We need to honor everything that arises within us and acknowledge the source of our pre-existing thoughts and feelings before we can change anything about them.

    When we stop being afraid to truly feel what we feel, we can heal—and discover a real, practical and more attainable form of happiness.

    Image: Caleb Roenigk/Flickr

    First published on elephantjournal.com

  • A Simple Breathing Exercise to Counteract Exam Stress.

    A Simple Breathing Exercise to Counteract Exam Stress.

    When we're stressed and anxious our breathing tends to become shallow. We may even unconsciously hold our breath. A simple way to restore a sense of calm in our bodies and minds is to deliberately and consciously breathe fully and deeply.

    With thousands of students in Ireland beginning their state exams tomorrow morning, I did a short Facebook Live this morning teaching the simple Dirgha belly breath, which helps to bring us back into a calm state.

    This can be practiced pretty much anywhere, making it a perfect antidote to stress in the middle of an exam! It can also be practiced in bed at night, to help fall asleep.

    Fast forward 1:30 to skip the intro just outlined above and get straight to the instruction. At the end I also suggest some simple mantras to incorporate into the practice.

    I hope you and your family find this helpful.