Tag: self care

The Power of Ritual to Support Your Wellbeing
Have you ever noticed how certain small actions can completely shift your mood?

Maybe it’s the way you make your morning coffee, the moment you light a candle in the evening, or even pausing for a deep breath before starting your day.

These little moments—when done with intention—become rituals. And rituals have the power to support your wellbeing in ways you might not even realize.

In this post, we’ll explore what rituals are, why they’re so powerful, and how you can begin weaving them into your daily life to create more calm, clarity, and connection.

What Exactly Is a Ritual?

At first glance, rituals might look like routines—but there’s an important difference.

A routine is something you do automatically, like brushing your teeth or checking your phone first thing in the morning. A ritual, on the other hand, is infused with presence and meaning. It’s about slowing down and intentionally engaging with the moment.

Think of the difference between grabbing a quick coffee on the go versus taking a moment to really savor the aroma, the warmth of the mug, and the first sip. Same action—but one is routine, and the other is ritual.

Rituals have been part of human culture for centuries. They’ve always marked transitions, provided a sense of stability, and brought deeper meaning into everyday life. And as modern research shows, they also have measurable benefits for our wellbeing.

The Science of Rituals

You don’t have to take this on faith alone—science has a lot to say about the benefits of rituals.
- They reduce stress. A Harvard Business School study found that performing simple rituals before stressful events (like public speaking) lowered anxiety and improved performance.
- They help with emotional resilience. Research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology showed that ritual-like actions during times of grief or transition gave people a greater sense of control and helped them process emotions more effectively.
- They calm the nervous system. Engaging the senses—through scent, touch, or sound—activates the body’s relaxation response. Use smells or sounds that you know your body responds well to as part of your daily rituals to trigger this benefit.
- They improve focus and performance. A study in Psychological Science found that rituals—even simple ones—help athletes and performers feel more confident and reduce performance anxiety.
In short, rituals support both the mind and body, making them powerful tools for everyday wellbeing.

How to Create Your Own Rituals

Creating rituals doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few tips to get started:
- Choose a small action. Rituals don’t need to be big or time-consuming. For example, placing your hand on your heart in gratitude before getting out of bed, writing a single word in your journal that reflects your mood, or rolling your shoulders before you begin work.
- Anchor it to something you already do. Tie your ritual to a habit that’s already part of your day—like stepping outside for a breath of fresh air after turning off your alarm, setting an intention while you wash your hands, or expressing gratitude when you put your keys down after coming home.
- Engage your senses. Sound, scent, and touch can help anchor you in the present moment. A piece of music, a favorite essential oil, or even the feel of a smooth stone in your hand can all serve as ritual supports.
- Be flexible. Rituals are there to serve you, not box you in. Let them evolve with your needs, and give yourself permission to change them when life shifts.
Final Thoughts

Rituals don’t have to be grand or time-consuming. They’re simply about bringing intention and presence into small moments of your day. Over time, these little acts of meaning add up to a big shift in how you feel—more grounded, more connected, and more at peace.

So maybe ask yourself: where could I bring a little more intention into my day?

And if you already have a ritual that nourishes you—whether it’s journaling, lighting a candle, or a mindful walk—I’d love to hear about it. Share it in the comments below.

Thank you for reading. You might also be interested in:

Tips to Balance your Health and Wellbeing during Vata Season.

How your Home can Heal you.
September 11, 2025
How Your Home Can Help Heal You
— even if you’re renting, on a budget, or feeling overwhelmed

A very common thing we designers often hear is, “I just want that wow effect.” And I completely get it. Of course we want to feel impressed by our space — to walk into a room and think yes, this is beautiful. But if you’re familiar with my philosophy at all, you’ll now that, for me, the true “wow” lies not just in how a space looks… but in how it makes us feel.

I believe that the most powerful role our homes can play is as a sanctuary — a space that actively supports our wellbeing. Because the truth is, we’re all carrying something. Stress. Grief. Anxiety. Exhaustion. We carry it in our hearts, in our minds and in our bodies. And what we carry impacts our overall wellbeing — mentally, emotionally, and physiologically.

But here’s the good news: our homes can help us release it.

They can become spaces that gently hold and support us as we heal. And this doesn’t require a full renovation, a huge budget, or even owning the place you live. It just requires intention — and a few simple, conscious shifts.

In this post, I’m weaving together some of the key ways your home can help you heal — all of which are low-cost (or free), and completely rental-friendly.

1. Use Colour Consciously

Colour is one of the easiest ways to shift how a space feels — and how you feel in it. It’s not just about aesthetics or style trends. Colour can actually communicate directly with our nervous systems.

The key principle? Colour temperature.
- Warm colours (reds, oranges, yellows) stimulate and energise. They’re great for active spaces like kitchens, dining rooms, playrooms — anywhere you want to encourage connection or productivity.
- Cool colours (blues, greens, purples) calm and soothe. They’re perfect for bedrooms, living rooms, meditation spaces — anywhere you want to relax or focus.
But there’s another layer here — one that goes deeper than simple psychology: your seasonal personality type. We all have a unique energetic blueprint (a blend of Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter energies), and the colours we’re instinctively drawn to often reflect what best supports our own balance and wellbeing.

If you’re not sure what your dominant season is, I’ve created a free quiz you can take to find out.

When we understand our own seasonal personality type — and the types of those we live with — it becomes so much easier to create a home that feels naturally supportive and harmonious for everyone.

2. Decluttering as Self-Care

Let’s get one thing clear: I’m not preaching minimalism here. For me, decluttering isn’t so much about owning less — it’s more about letting go of what we don’t love or use, so we can create space for what matters.

Everything we surround ourselves with carries energy. If we’re constantly seeing things we’re indifferent to, or that drain us, that has an impact. But when we’re surrounded by things we genuinely love or find useful, our homes start to give us energy rather than take it.

Letting go can be surprisingly cathartic. Not just on a physical level — but mentally and emotionally, too.

3. Space Clearing the Unseen

Space clearing is the energetic follow-up to decluttering. It’s about cleansing and resetting the invisible atmosphere of your home.

Yes — this is one of my more “woo” practices, but I truly believe in it. And if you’re even a little bit energetically sensitive, you’ll feel the difference after you do it.

It’s especially helpful:
- After illness
- After an argument
- When moving into a new space
- Or any time you feel like your home feels a little “off”
You don’t need fancy tools or complicated rituals. I’ve put together a cheat sheet download that walks you through a simple, effective space clearing process.

4. Create a Sacred Corner

You don’t need a meditation room or a dreamy Pinterest nook. Just carve out a little pocket of your home that’s yours — a space to decompress and come back to yourself.

Maybe it’s a cosy chair with a cushion and blanket. A sunny windowsill with a view. A little altar, or just a corner of your bedroom where your phone doesn’t follow.

The magic comes from treating it like a retreat — even for just ten minutes a day. Sip your morning cuppa, write in your journal, do a short meditation, or simply sit and breathe. It’s amazing how restorative this small ritual can be.

5. Try a Little Feng Shui (or Vastu Shastra)

I don’t teach feng shui in the traditional “manifest your dream life” kind of way — but I do love using it as a personal development tool.

These systems connect different parts of your home to different areas of your life. So, by making changes in certain spaces, you can bring more balance to the related area — whether that’s relationships, health, career, or creativity.

I always recommend approaching feng shui with curiosity rather than perfectionism. If you didn’t grow up with these systems embedded in your culture, there’s no need to stress over every guideline. Just take what feels supportive, and leave what doesn’t.

6. Balance Yin & Yang Energy

This is one of the most powerful shifts you can make — and it ties everything together.
- Yin energy is soft, feminine, nurturing, restful.
- Yang energy is active, bright, structured, energising.
We need both in our homes — just like we need both in our lives. Bedrooms, bathrooms, and meditation corners need more yin. Kitchens, workspaces, and social areas benefit from more yang.

When your home holds the right balance of these energies, it naturally supports the balance in you.

Your Home Is More Than Just a Backdrop

When we’re intentional about how we set up our homes — not just visually, but energetically — our spaces start to nourish us. They hold us. They ground us. They support our growth.

You don’t need a huge budget or a full makeover to start. Just choose one small thing to shift, and begin there.

Thanks for reading. You might also enjoy:

Discover your Seasonal Personality Type and How it can Transform your Home.

Feng Shui: Personal Development versus Manifestation

Create a Home Altar to Bring the Sacred into Everyday Life
July 20, 2025
The Psychology of Pink

Photo: Alison Laredo

“If hugs were a colour, they would be pink.”
~ Karen Haller, The Little Book of Colour

psychology of pink

Culturally, the colour pink has a few established connotations. And maybe it’s time to rethink them. In this blog, I’m going to look at why that might benefit us. Exploring the psychology of pink, let’s consider when to use it in our home decor, when not to, and how to use it to its best effect.

Colour, Culture & Psychology of Pink

We tend to think of colour in visual terms because we encounter it in our lives as a visual element. But on levels we aren’t consciously aware of, all the colours under the rainbow – and their infinite tints, tones and shades – impact us in meaningful ways. Beyond our aesthetic appreciation for colours, they imbue our body-mind systems with different qualities.

The upshot of this is that colour can have a positive or negative effect on us, depending on levels of exposure and cultural context, as well as personal taste.

In western society, pink be a tad divise because of its long-running cultural association with young girls and the feminine in general. It often doesn’t have the same appeal for adult women, and heterosexual males are typically conditioned from childhood to regard it as emasculating.

Interestingly, though, the pink-for-girls and blue-for-boys rule in western socities is actually less than a century old. Prior to that it was the reverse. And in some eastern cultures today pink is associated with masculinity – something that seems unimaginable to those of us raised to view it as belonging to the realm of little girls.

But in fact, neither pink nor blue are inherently masculine or feminine. But both do have specific effects on our psyche. And with each (and every colour) the intensity and underlying tone contributes to those effects.

psychology of pink

Pink, and its effects

Far from being “weak”, pink is a colour than can enhance our health and wellbeing.

Pink is proven to have a calming effect on the mind and body, helping reduce feelings of anger, aggression, and anxiety. We’re talking about the light to medium pinks here, which are often used in hospitals, prisons, and mental health facilities to create a sense of tranquility and relaxation. Spending just 15 minutes in a room pink room can reduce heart rate and blood pressure, and feelings of aggression. And the effect can last for up to 30 minutes after leaving the pink room.

Regardless of our personal mental health, a great reason for all of us to embrace pink is that it promotes a sense of nurturing and empathy. When it comes to bringing out our softer and more caring sides, gender shouldn’t be a factor. We all need to experience and express this side of ourselves. And so, whether it feels culturally appropriate or not, pink is a great colour for men to also become more open to.

However, too much pink can be emasculating. So for some men, or anyone who needs to work on their self confidence, painting the walls of a room pale pink, or bubblegum pink, may be too much. But there could be room for some kind of pink in the furniture, artwork and décor.

For those who want to bring out their strongest qualities while still holding their femine power, bolder shades such as hot pink will be more effective than soft, baby pinks. Again, it might be a good idea to limit its use…the temptation might be to go strong with hot pink in the bedroom. But the primary function of this space is supporting a restful night’s sleep. So rather than going all out, use touches of hot pink – maybe in your dressing area…or in your bedding on date nights.

There is a place and a context for all the variations.

psychology of pink

Ways to use pink in your home

Instead of having a blanket ban against the colour (or indeed any colour), it makes more sense to be mindful of the intensity and quantity. When it comes to decorating our homes, we should always bear in mind the function of the room, and the personality types of those using it, when selecting the colour palette. This shouldn’t be any different when considering if, where and how to include pink.

Think about the room’s function and the kind of energy you need the space to generate. If it’s a room where the main activity is about down-time (living rooms and bedrooms) then you want to support a yin energy. For this you’re going to need more subtle pinks.

On the other hand, in rooms where you want a livelier yang energy, you can use stronger, bolder pinks. Maybe the kitchen, dining or play room.

Soft pinks – use on the walls, ceilings and even doors and woodwork. Bedrooms are a particularly good choice for a lot of subtle pink. It doesn’t have to feel too feminine – if you have a partner who wouldn’t feel comfortable in an overly feminine space, be sure to choose the right shade together. And balance it out with other colours, in your curtains, bedding, rug, and artwork so that it doesn’t feel overwhelmingly pink. Just ensure the overall palette incorporates colours that promote a relaxing atmosphere.

Bold pinks – use on accent walls. And remember, walls don’t have to be painted. A pink-patterned wallpaper can introduce the effect you want without feeling too overpowering. But if a wall feels too much, stick with your soft furnishings, artwork, maybe a rug on the floor. If you want a strong pop of bold pink, think about a piece of furniture such as an armchair. Just be sure to include neutral colours in the overall colour palette to balance out the stronger pinks. And use the 60/30/10 rule….60% main colour (not hot pink), 30% secondary colour (could be a subtle pink) and 10% accent colour (this is where you can go bold with your pink).

Personality types – colour psychology categorises personality types according to seasons. And our seasons influence our aesthetic tastes. This includes the kinds of colours we’re drawn to. Generally, spring and summer personalities will be drawn to lighter and subtler hues, while autumn and winter will favour stronger. So in deciding on what pinks to use where, and how, you want to consider this as well as the function of the space. I have a quick and easy quiz on this link if you’d like to check out your seasonal personality type.

Regardless of gender or personality type, there is a pink for everyone. And when chosen mindfully and applied correctly it can bring a great deal of positive qualities to our homes and our wellbeing.

psychology of pink

psychology of pink

Thank you for reading. You may also be interested in:

Key colour effects to consider before hitting the DIY stores.

Colour Palette Consultation

If you want to be notified whenever I post, be sure to subcribe to my newsletter.

You might also like to check out these free resources:

Guide to Budgeting your Home Makeover

Discover your Personal Style

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interior design county clare ireland

interior design ireland

affordable interior design

psychology of pinkpsychology of pink

July 25, 2023
Creating your Sanctuary.

Expert Tips for Transforming a Corner of your Home into a Serene Self-Care Space.

Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

Self-care has become something of a buzzword in recent years, and social media conjures up images of bubble baths, spa treatments and other kinds of pampering.

And a little pampering certainly has its place in a self-care regime. But true self-care goes deeper. It’s about getting clear on what we need to be able to function at our optimum level. And then engaging in practices and developing habits that will support us in getting there.

What that looks like will be very different for each of us. But the global experience of recent years has shown many of us that a vital part of our wellbeing is living in a home that feels like a sanctuary from the worries and stresses of the world.

Regardless of ownership or budget, I believe we all deserve homes that provide us with that sense of sanctuary. To achieve that, most of us don’t need an expensive and time-consuming renovation. Simple tweaks can make a huge difference.

I like to suggest to clients that they identify a small area in their home that they can dedicate as a personal self-care spot. If there’s a space in your home that is generally un-used day-to-day, maybe clear that out – or even a corner of it. Use this space to sit in and reflect on the day ahead, or the day just gone. To journal, if you’re into that. To listen to soothing and relaxing music, or a favourite podcast. To read, dance, do yoga, meditate – whatever is your personal medicine.

If every room in the home is actively used, then choose a corner of your bedroom or living room. It could even be a spot in your kitchen that you feel drawn to sit quietly in at a particular time of day. Then ask the rest of your household to allow you to enjoy that space solo as part of your daily routine. That could be the first hour in the morning, or for an hour after dinner in the evenings. Whatever works for you.

Once you’ve identified your self-care space, then you need to set it up to be that nurturing sanctuary. For the most part, this doesn’t need to cost a penny – or require landlord approval for renters.

For me, it depends on how it makes you feel. If there’s a particularly positive and uplifting memory attached to a dried bouquet, then who is anyone else to tell you that it’s not appropriate for your self-care altar? Tune in to your own inner wisdom and choose what you believe will support you in where you are now, and where you aim to go.

The first step is to clean and declutter. It might not be the most fun task, but it is the fundamental step. Setting up a self-care zone without doing this is like putting clean clothes on a dirty body. If you do nothing else, do this.

Not for everyone, but I love to smudge the space with incense or white sage. Set an intention around what kind of energy you want your home to support and then burn incense or herbs. Please, always choose incense with natural ingredients over synthetic.

Then personalise the space with a little altar. I’m not talking about religious paraphernalia here. In the simplest terms, your altar is a space where you display items that are symbolic of what you value. It can be on a little table, a shelf, a window sill – or just a corner of a sill. Whatever works for you and your space. The important thing is that it feels like a mindful and meaningful corner to you. Tend to it daily by lighting a candle or incense, or sounding a bell. This will help to remind you that this little corner of your home is a sacred space – and also remind you to take some time out for self-care.

Bring nature into this corner. My favourite way to do this is with a live plant. Plants are proven to support our wellbeing, bring in vital living energy and detoxify the air. But other options include cut flowers, sea shells, conkers, pine cones, pebbles – whatever calls to you. There are no hard and fast rules – although Feng Shui does recommend not using anything dead (eg dried flowers).

If there is artwork or ornaments already in situ in this corner, review the symbolism they portray. Do they reflect what you want in your life? Or symbolically represent what you’re working towards? If you have nothing decorative in place at the moment, then this is your opportunity to mindfully select a few pieces to add in.

For a peaceful and happy home it’s important that the subliminal effect of what your eyes are landing on everyday – especially in your self-care space – helps to evoke and maintain happy and peaceful feelings. If they’re not aligned with your self-care intentions, then consider replacing them with alternatives that help to subliminally set you up well for the day ahead.

Next up you want to set the right ambiance. Soft lighting, relaxing scents. Maybe a source of music. Or maybe you prefer silence? Whatever helps you create a relaxing and soothing atmosphere is the right thing here – it will be different for everyone.

Review the colour palette of the room in which you have set up this space. Is it conducive to relaxation? (Hint: pale or neutral colours, or greens or blues will work well. Avoid reds, oranges, yellows, loud or bright hues in this space.

Make this corner comfy and cosy. You need to actively love the chair, or floor cushion, or whatever you’re choosing to sit on. Don’t just make do on this one – if it’s not physically comfortable to sit here then it doesn’t matter what else you do to make the space feel enticing. You simply won’t spend time here, and that’s the point of all of this.

So maybe this is where you might need to spend a little money, if you don’t already have the perfect seat for the space then consider investing in a new one. Add in a cushion and soft blanket and have a little basket of treats that help you to relax….hand lotion, lip balm, rose water…so you have what you need for a mini-pamper within arm’s reach.

And once it’s all perfectly set up, remember to make regular use of it. Set aside time – ideally daily – to spend here engaging in an activity (or inactivity) that makes you feel good, and helps you decompress and de-stress.

Your self-care space need not be elaborate by any means. Simplicity aids easy upkeep, so don’t go overboard with what you add. Being able to keep it clean and tidy with minimal effort will ensure it remains an inviting space that draws you to it. And by enjoying this space on a regular basis, you’ll be supporting your wellbeing.

Thank you for reading. You might also be interested in:

Create a Home Altar to bring the Sacred into your Everyday Life.

Space Clearing to Release what doesn’t Serve us.

If you want to be notified whenever I post, be sure to subcribe to my newsletter.

You might also like to check out these free resources:

Guide to Budgeting your Home Makeover

Discover your Personal Style

interior design limerick ireland

interior design county clare ireland

interior design ireland

affordable interior design

May 22, 2023
The Art & Health Benefits of Pottering

Photo by Matthew Halmshaw on Unsplash

One Friday morning a couple of weeks ago, I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed.

Between working in my business, working on my business, and participating in various business development training workshops, my to-do list list was exhausting me – mentally as well as physically. Can you relate?

Well, in response, I made an executive decision to take the day off.

Maybe that seems counterintuitive to you. To me, it made perfect sense as I recognized that my current state of overwhelm was doing nothing to help my productivity. I was pushing through to get things done, resulting in fewer things getting crossed off today’s list, making tomorrow’s list even longer.

I needed a rest so that I could come back refreshed.

But I didn’t take a duvet day. Nor did I head off on a little excursion. Instead, I pottered around the house for the day. And it did me the world of good.

So, when I stumbled across a report this week that pottering is good for our health, I wanted to know more.

The research comes from the University of San Diego and a study of over 5,000 women aged 63 to 97. It found that four hours of gentle movement throughout the day – not necessarily continuously – significantly reduced the risk of cardiovascular events.

Encouraging news for those of us who don’t want to take up running when we move into our golden age.

Each of us is different, and physical fitness in the sense that is marketed to us constantly doesn’t suit all of our mind-body types. But we do know that movement is important for our physical health.

“The study demonstrates that all movement counts towards disease prevention. Spending more time in daily life movement, which includes a wide range of activities we all do while on our feet and out of our chairs, resulted in a lower risk of cardiovascular disease.” ~ Steve Nguyen, Ph.D., M.P.H

Mental Health Benefits of Pottering

I was curious if there may also be research to back up the mental health benefits of pottering, that I personally experience. The bad news is, I couldn’t find any. But I suspect it will come about, in time. Instead, what I found was what sounds like a delightful book.

Pottering: A Cure for Modern Life was written by Anna McGovern who discovered the power of pottering at a time when she was feeling overwhelmed in her life. There was a lot going on and she had overcommitted herself on a number of fronts. Seeking a way to deal with it, she chose to take her work leave one day a week over a prolonged period, instead of all together. And she used that day to potter about her home and her local community.

Over time, her Pottering Tuesdays made such an immense difference to her mental health that she wrote a book about it.

“Pottering is one of a number of coping strategies that you can do when you feel a bit frazzled. While it is by no means a substitute for professional help, it is just one thing in the armoury of self-care that happens to fit in with the way that we’re living now.

It’s a mental break, it’s completely unpressured and it frees you momentarily from all responsibility. It may seem inconsequential, but it has a uniquely restful effect.” ~ Anna McGovern

How to Potter

Pottering is something almost all of us do, a lot of the time. It’s the little household tasks that we complete without any sense of pressure. The way I see it, the difference between pottering and completing household chores, is in your intention….and your list.

Basically, bin the to-do list and instead have the intention to simply potter – completing tasks that you feel drawn to. Wherever your eye wanders and you feel an inclination to follow through on what you see needing to be done – that’s pottering. You take as long as you take, rather than rushing through to get on to the next ‘job’.

With this approach, some of the tasks that you have filed away in your head as needing to be done can effortlessly slip into ‘I want to do this now’ mode – on a given day, when the mood is right.

Pottering isn’t goal-oriented. It’s more about being mindful and intentional about the task at hand, while you’re going about it. Deriving satisfaction in the doing, as much as doing it for the satisfaction of having it done.

It’s the art of combining the state of doing with the state of being.

Pottering also allows for taking breaks, as and when we feel like it. To enjoy a cuppa. To watch the birds feeding or bathing. To flick through a magazine. To chat with a loved one. To move in and out of doing things at a casual and relaxed pace.

Pottering and Productivity

While the intention of pottering is not directly about productivity, it often feels like we’ve been productive with that time.

The plants are watered. The junk drawer is sorted. The garden patio is tidied. The pantry is organized. The shelves are re-arranged (one of my faves). The donations pile has been brought to the charity shop. Our home has become more orderly, without any sense of strain or effort in that process.

But because it’s been done from a place of wanting-to-do rather than having-to-do we don’t become burned out from pottering.

The best thing of all about pottering is that we don’t need any special equipment, or any level of expertise. Just go for a little wander through your house or garden and notice what needs doing, that you feel happy to do right now. Do it without needing to reach any standard of perfection. Do it for the simple pleasure it brings you at this moment.

My own pottering Friday turned into a full weekend of pottering, instead of the usual catching up on household chores. Yes, chores still got done, but at a more relaxed pace. And with lots of breaks in between, for a coffee and catch-up with a friend, to read the latest House and Home magazine, to cuddle the cat.

There were more leisure activities because I wasn’t putting myself under pressure to get a certain number of things done in a fixed period. I had time – and the mental and physical energy – to do more fun stuff than when I start my Saturday with a to-do list.

So, while I await some official research to back up the mental health and productivity benefits of pottering, I’m considering implementing my own Pottering Tuesday (though I may make it a Wednesday). Maybe as an experiment over one month, to compare productivity levels to those when I put in the full five days. I have ordered the book, and I suspect reading it will make the decision for me.

Right now, as I write, the sun is highlighting some streaks on a window. And while I “should” spend the next couple of hours on “work work”, the windows are calling to me. I may just give in and allow myself the simple pleasure of making them clean and clear.

First I’ll have a cuppa, and then I’ll see.

Thank you for reading. You might also be interested in:

It’s time to embrace ‘Hygge’ season – and make it a year-long practice.

You might also like to check out this free resources:

30 Day Decluttering Challenge

If you want to be notified whenever I post, be sure to subcribe to my newsletter.

April 7, 2022
Forget about Resolutions and have a Slow, Self-Care January.

Photo by Brandy Kennedy on Unsplash

Despite its gloominess, I love January.

It is a long, slow month. And it’s a time when we naturally feel more inclined to hibernate than get out there and make things happen.

Many people resent how it seems to drag out and can’t wait until February arrives and life restarts. What I’ve noticed in recent years, is that once February hits, the year takes off like a rocket and we’re all chasing our tails trying to meet this and that deadline.

And before we know it, we’re closing out another year, wondering where the time went and feeling exhausted.

My response over the last two years was to embrace the slowness of January. Recognizing that I actually wanted to be low-key during this month, I decided to align with that rather than fight against it.

Instead of trying to muster all my enthusiasm to enter a state of ‘doing’, I just allow myself to relax into ‘being’. Being whatever feels right to me, day-to-day. Whatever my body and mind are craving. Some days that might actually be ‘doing’ something productive. Other days will call for more rest.

I do spend January planning for the year ahead, and getting excited about different projects. And from that place of excitement, I’m easily motivated to begin working towards them. But without the pressure of having to be ready to go as soon as January is out. Taking my time to tease things out, make tweaks and adjustments as new insights drop in.

Basically, I release myself from the ‘shoulds’ and embrace the ‘coulds’ instead.

In previous years, I would have been gung-ho from January 2nd working flat out all day every day. No naps, no mid-day walks – just all day long in front of a screen and then exhausted and numbing out in the evenings. And setting a pattern to be repeated for the rest of the year.

By feeling my way through January, I now come through the month feeling more rested and ready for the new year that awaits. Ready for the rocket that will launch in February, whether I like it or not.

And as a bonus, I have also been able to keep that thread of self-care all through the year, weaving it through my daily and weekly practices. I never consciously set the intention to join the Self-Care-Sunday movement, but I’ve naturally developed that rhythm for myself.

As a meditation teacher, I’ve had a morning ritual that I treat as a sacred practice on a daily basis for over a decade. But now, on Sunday mornings, I go deeper and longer with that. And it sets me up for the week, as much as my daily practice sets me up for the day.

And my self-care January sets me up for the year.

It’s normal and natural, when a new year lands, to have hopes and dreams. And in 2022 we’re all hoping for an improvement from the last two years. But those years have shown us very clearly, if we didn’t know it before, there is so much that happens in our world that we can’t control.

In difficult circumstances that we have to accept and deal with, the best we can do is look after our health and wellbeing. This puts us in the optimal state to cope with whatever arises. And that means taking care of our inner state of mind as much as it means getting physically strong and healthy.

Both of these aspects are important to self-care. And we each need to figure out how to craft self-care regimes that work for us individually. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions, despite the promises of many of the programs that are marketed to us every January.

Rather than getting carried away with all the ‘new year, new you’ hype – and signing up for expensive membership programs – spend January figuring out what that could look like in your life. Plan for small ways in which you can integrate it on a daily and weekly basis. Little and often is better than an occasional deep dive with no follow-through.

Carve out space for you, for those practices and activities you identify that will support you in the coming year.

And call it sacred space.

Because that’s precisely what it will become if you give yourself this time regularly. Sacred space for you, and regular self-care will be the very best resolutions you can set yourself this or any other year.

You may also be interested in:

Why I set new year intentions in February, not January.

Why self-care needs to be our top New Year Resolution, and how to do it right.

A simple meditation practice to start the new year.

January 2, 2022
Treating your Home Like a Temple.

Why it matters and how to do it.

Our homes have always been inextricably linked to our wellbeing. And that is especially true in this Covid era. Required to spend almost all our days within our homes, it’s time to start treating them as temples.

Maybe this concept is new and seems a bit wacky to you. But if you’re familiar with Feng Shui, or the Indian equivalent Vastu Shastra, this is the fundamental philosophy behind the traditions and guidelines.

Our homes should be a haven for our minds, bodies, and spirits. They are the containers for our energy, and we have a symbiotic relationship with them. The energy we emit impacts our homes’ energy, and the energy in our homes impacts how we feel.

It’s helpful to our wellbeing to be mindful of this and regard our homes as sacred spaces. They are, after all, where we recover and refresh our bodies and minds.

So we do need to put in a little effort to create and maintain a sense of sanctuary. Generally speaking, though, that doesn’t have to be anything overwhelming. For the most part, simple steps will achieve the effect we need.

As the world moved into lockdown last year, many people started redecorating their homes. Both as a distraction and because switching up the look of our homes can also help us feel better about them and within them. The two quickest, and most cost-effective ways to do this, are to paint the walls and to change the room layout. I recommend both if you’re feeling the need for a visual change in your home.

But in terms of creating sacred space, our tasks are more basic.

To set your home up as a true sanctuary — a place that nourishes your wellbeing on all levels — think more along the lines of a temple than a magazine cover.

Whether you align with a religion or not, thinking about how temples are used and cared for will help you set your own home up as your (and your family’s) personal sanctuary:

It will be clean and clutter-free. Yeah, I know, not fun! It is the fundamental step though, like washing our bodies before we put on clean clothes. Of course, different clearing levels are possible in different households, depending on the age and needs of everyone living there.

Where mess is completely unavoidable, is it possible to zone it? Or could you organize your storage better to create pockets of temporary calm when the necessities aren’t in use? And clear out what’s definitely past being loved and used — even if it’s only to the car boot until the charity shops can reopen.

Use sound, mindfully chosen to raise spirits. Sing, chant, play instruments. Turn off the news and play Mozart in the background as you go about your day-to-day activities.

Smudge the space by burning incense or herbs. Make sure your incense has natural ingredients, not synthetic ones. And set an intention of what kind of energy you want your home to support before smudging. Do this regularly, especially after a household member has been sick or after an argument.

Create a little altar. This doesn’t have to carry any religious connotations whatsoever. Instead, dedicate a space to symbolically showcase what matters most to you right now. It can act as a reminder when the small things start to get you down and be a reminder that your home itself is a sacred space.

Fresh Air, Greenery, and Symbolism

Other simple steps include opening the windows as much as possible to allow fresh air (energy, chi) to circulate through your home.

And while we don’t see plants in religious temples, they make a great addition to a home. This is especially true if you have no outside space, as plants bring vital living energy into our space.

Review the art and other knick-knacks around your home. Do they reflect you and your life? Do they symbolically support the journey you wish to take going forwards? If you want your home to feel peaceful and happy, does the art you’re looking at daily evoke those feelings?

Art depicting stormy scenarios or sadness might be better swapped out for more joyful scenes. And in the bedroom, be sure you’re displaying symbols of happy couples and not sad or lonely-looking people.

We want our homes to symbolically represent joy, health, love, compassion, and all the other good stuff we wish for ourselves and our loved ones. When we walk through the doors, we want to feel uplifted by the space.

And we want that sense of harmony to stay with us as we move through our homes. So, after we’ve completed any necessary decluttering, it’s important to be thorough with our maintenance cleaning.

I don’t love cleaning, but reframing the idea that it is a chore to being a spiritual practice helps me. I consider my home to be a temple for my body, mind, and spirit, and I treat it accordingly. It has helped me tremendously throughout the past year.

I invite you to see your own home as a similarly sacred space and see how that shift in perception might change how you feel.

Thank you for reading. You might also be interested in:

Create a Home Altar to bring the Sacred into your Everyday Life.

January 23, 2021
Get your Home in Order and your Life will Follow.
Photo by Volha Flaxeco on Unsplash

One of the best things you can do for yourself over the month of January is to clean, declutter, organise and Feng Shui your home.

Seriously, get your home in order and it will reap benefits in other areas of your life.

I know that sounds like a lot of work, but you do have a full month to do it. A month when there’s often not a lot of exciting social activities to distract you (even pre-Covid times).

And if you’re looking to bring about meaningful change in your life over the coming year, this work is a perfect foundation. Because spring cleaning is emotional clearing.

It has this magical, alchemical effect on our energy. It’s as if clearing out the physical debris in our homes has a metaphysical correlation on the mental and emotional stuff that’s been weighing us down.

It’s amazing how many people report an upturn in their mood, their creativity and the opportunities coming their way after a thorough decluttering of their homes.

So while spring cleaning might not be a traditional January activity, this year more than ever, it’s a great time to focus on sorting out your home.

So tidy up the coat and boot mess in your entryway. Clean and reorganise your kitchen cupboards. On a dry day, wash your windows, even if there’s still plenty more rain to come in the weeks ahead.

Go through your home room by room and remove anything that you don’t actively love, or use. Stop holding onto ornaments, artwork and knick knacks that were gifted to you by loved ones, unless you love the actual gift as much as the gesture.

At the same time, make a list of any repairs that need to be made. Undone tasks are a form of mental clutter, and they drain our energy on a subconscious level every time we notice them. So make that list, and start ticking the items off it as you move through the month.

Learn about the Feng Shui bagua, which divides your home into nine equal zones that energetically correspond with different aspects of your life: health and wellbeing, relationships, finances, career path, personal development, family and community, reputation, travel and helpful people.

When you regard a corner of your home as being reflective of your financial situation, it will motivate you to keep it in good order.

There are a lot of rules and guidelines that Westerners may not resonate with, but the important lesson we can all benefit is to create homes where the energy can circulate freely.

This is why decluttering can have such a powerful effect on our lives, not just our homes.

Piles of stuff that need to be sorted through, cleared away, or moved around when we need to get to whatever they’re blocking, is a constant drain on our energy—even if we’re not consciously aware of it.

When we declutter and clean, we also cleanse the space on an energetic level and leave room for that energy to move unhindered around our homes. On the contrary, clutter causes stagnation in our homes’ energy, and also in our lives.

And quite apart from the Feng Shui benefits, a decluttered home helps us in other, simple ways which generally improve our day to day experiences in our homes:
- Less items to accumulate dust makes it easier to clean and improves respiratory health issues.
- Precious time is saved when we no longer need to hunt for items.
- Decluttered spaces are calm spaces, and calm spaces are easier to relax in than busy ones.
- We can use our space and furniture properly, for example sitting to eat at the dining table instead of balancing a plate on our lap because the table is buried under books, paperwork and ironing.
- We can see all the clothes we own and access them more easily. Although the quantity of our clothes will decrease, the variety of what we now wear will probably improve.
When our homes only contain what we need for the day-to-day functioning of our lives, and just enough artistic and decorative pieces to give us a lift, we gift ourselves with a home that is so much more than a shelter from the world.

It becomes a true sanctuary for our bodies, minds and souls.

Instead of draining our energy, our decluttered homes gives it a boost. And that empowers us in all the other areas we’re hoping to make changes.

If we didn’t know it before, 2020 taught us that our home is our castle. And it’s in our best interests to enable the energy to flow easily and make it as uplifting a space as possible.

So, let’s use this oft-maligned first month of the new year to get our houses in order.

First published on Newsbreak.com
January 4, 2021
Prioritise Self Care over Self Improvement when Setting your New Year Resolutions.

Photo by Alysha Rosly on Unsplash

Self-care and self-improvement can be easily confused. There’s some cross-over for sure. And yet, there is an important difference between them.

Self-care has, at its core, the intention of nurturing our wellbeing so that we can function to the best of our abilities.

Self-improvement frequently comes from a place of not feeling good enough.

When there is a healthier motivation, such as striving to be better while still believing we are already good enough, then it has a place within our self-care plan.

But when our motivation for self-improvement is to help us feel better about ourselves, or to seek external validation from others, then it’s not truly self-care.

And I often think that self-improvement is a much weaker motivation than self-care.

Sticking to new year resolutions is notoriously difficult. According to studies, 75% of us will maintain our new year resolutions for the first week of January.

But only 64% of us are still sticking to them by the end of the month, and that number has dropped to 46% by mid-way through the year.

Maybe if our reasons for choosing our resolutions came from a place of loving ourselves more, rather than being unhappy with who we are right now, we might have greater success with them.

This past year especially has shown us how important it is to take care of our health needs, on the mental and emotional levels as well as the physical.

So, for 2021 how about we resolve to focus more on being kind to ourselves and less on “improving” ourselves – and then beating ourselves up when we fall off that wagon.

That doesn’t mean our 2021 resolutions can’t include the typical examples like weight loss, training for a marathon, learning a new skill. Self-care does include exercise, healthy eating, and stress management techniques.

The key issue is the place within us that is choosing the new habits. Are we making these choices for our own personal wellbeing? Or are we making them to project a shinier, “better” impression of ourselves to those around us?

This matters massively.

It’s time to stop sabotaging ourselves and to nurture our wellbeing.

Look at the list of resolutions you may be making in your head. Put them down on paper and examine them. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to integrate this habit into my life? How will it benefit me?”

Also ask, “What might it cost me? And is that a healthy price to pay? Will the ultimate outcome be of true benefit to me?”

Get really honest with yourself. And if you sense you’re coming more from a self-improvement angle than a self-care one, then make some tweaks. Tweak your motivation, not necessarily your resolution.

Get in touch with the part of yourself that knows what will truly serve you well. If that part of you can align with a resolution, then it’s ok to keep it. And you’ll probably succeed better with it.

But if that part of you feels nothing but unease around a resolution, then maybe you need to cross that one off your list.

It never helps to be over-ambitious with them anyway, if you want to be among the 46% at the mid-year point.

Set your resolutions purely from a place of self-love and watch how your habits unfold over the coming year.

First published on Newsbreak.com

December 30, 2020
How a Five Minute Daily Practice can Change your Life.

I am usually wary of “life-changing” claims. But when it comes to meditation, I can confidently assert that—given regular practice—five minutes a day can change things.

It’s widely accepted now among Western medicine practitioners that meditation isn’t “woo-woo.” It has been shown, over and over, to improve our physical, mental and emotional well-being.

But people who practice it daily don’t need scientists to tell us the benefits. We keep it up because we notice the difference in ourselves—and we want to maintain that.

And while a minimum of 20 minutes is usually recommended, for those who can’t seem to find a 20 minute window for stillness, meditation isn’t something you need to rule out.

Even just a few minutes is worth doing.

Think of meditation as a mental (and emotional) fitness regime. And, similarly to getting physically fit, the fitness builds gradually.

When we meditate, lots of things are happening in our bodies and minds that we aren’t consciously aware of: we release stress; we cleanse ourselves of toxic thoughts and emotions.

But (and here’s the snag) we aren’t consciously aware of that process at the time. What we’re conscious of is focusing our attention (on our breath or maybe a mantra) followed by the intrusion of thoughts. Then we refocus our intention until we again notice the intrusion of thoughts—lather, rinse and repeat until the time is up.

That is what we do during meditation.

But while we are doing that—and although it often doesn’t feel like that at all—our bodies and minds are getting a chance to relax. And when they relax, they release suppressed sh*t that is causing us unease (and leads to the development of dis-ease).

This letting go happens in a place we call “The Gap”—the space between one thought and the next. A space our ego minds can’t perceive. A space that’s usually quite minute. But during meditation, by focusing our attention on our mantra or breath, we temporarily block out other thoughts—just for a little bit—which enables our minds to become quieter than normal. That stretches our time in the gap, imperceptibly, giving our minds and bodies that opportunity for rest, relaxation and to release what isn’t serving us well.

And we do that multiple times throughout the meditation—so the repetitive process of noticing our mind has wandered off is not a sign of failure. It’s simply a sign that we’re no longer in the gap, and it’s time to refocus our attention so we can slip back in there and get another dose of healing.

Don’t bother trying to chase that place of stillness though—your ego mind won’t find it. Just keep bringing your attention back to the present every time you notice it has wandered off. That’s the process of meditation—do that and allow your body and mind to benefit naturally.

Over time, when practiced daily, we start to notice differences.

If we’re meditating for 20 minutes twice a day, we’ll notice those benefits quicker than if we’re doing five minutes once a day. That stands to reason.

But, because the benefits are cumulative, it’s still worth doing just a few minutes if that’s all we can spare today. It helps us to build on yesterday’s practice and it increases the likelihood that we’ll keep it up, instead of abandoning the practice altogether.

As with anything, we get out of it what we put in, so ideally sit for 20 to 30 minutes if you can.

But remember that every five minutes counts.

You can steal five minutes for yourself in your car before you leave work in the evening, in the toilet mid-afternoon or right after you get the kids out the door to school before you launch into your long to-do list.

And when we take five minutes for ourselves to stop and quiet our minds, many people feel more invigorated and focused when they resume their normal activities afterward. Noticing the difference a few minutes makes has the knock-on effect of encouraging us to do it more—and even to start carving out longer periods of time for our practice.

The magic of taking five minutes for ourselves is self-care in the present and improved well-being in the future. Surely that’s worth trying out?

First published on elephantjournal.com

Image: Flickr/Jinterwas

May 28, 2018

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