Tag: new year

Sankalpa: a Powerful Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions.
Photo by Cristian Escobar on Unsplash

I relish the energy of renewal that lingers in the air this time of year and the sense of opportunity between one year ending and another beginning.

I typically embrace the new year with optimism and usually have in mind some things I would like to improve in my life.

But I don’t do new year’s resolutions. They’re just not my thing and never have been. After qualifying as a life coach, I tried to rally myself around the idea and set “audacious goals”. But I struggled to stick with them.

For me, new year’s resolutions rapidly morph from desires into “shoulds”, which I subconsciously resist and sabotage.

Once “I’d like to get up early tomorrow and get a good run at the day” turns into “I should get up early tomorrow…” I’m hitting the snooze button when my alarm goes off.

Avoiding that subtle transition has always been tricky for me. So when I started teaching meditation from the Vedic tradition, I was delighted to discover a concept I could get behind: Sankalpa.

The word itself means determination, conviction and resolve. So the essence of Sankalpa is similar to what underlies the concept of New Year’s resolutions.

But a key difference is that most new year’s resolutions don’t actually seem to properly harness the energy of determination, conviction or resolve at all. New year’s resolutions are so often fraught with should-itis. And there’s nothing helpful about that.

Without an understanding of what is keeping us stuck, it’s hard to move past it no matter our goal.

Changing our habits is hard, even when we recognise that our current habits are sabotaging our wellbeing. We may decide to develop new habits that will serve us better, but if there isn’t a strong inner commitment that comes from understanding how we’re sabotaging ourselves and why we need to stop, the probability of follow-through is low.

And this is where Sankalpa works its magic.

A Sankalpa is a seed we sow in our conscious mind. Once it is sown, we nurture it daily until it takes root in our subconscious. When our subconscious is onboard, our Sankalpa will start to manifest outside us in abundant ways.

We find ourselves more effortlessly choosing actions in support of what we want.

The energy of choice, rather than the energy of “should”, is what makes all the difference.

Finding our core Sankalpa will help us to live out our life’s purpose. But it takes time and patience to find it.

In the interim, we can experiment with Sankalpas around particular goals. It’s best to pick just one at a time, and work with it until you feel like you’re living it. Or change it, if it no longer feels like a true mission for you. When you find yourself repeatedly choosing the same sankalpa, eventhough you are consistently expressing it through your daily life, then you’ve probably landed on your core sankalpa.

Over the last few years I’ve use the Word for the Year process to help me craft my Sankalpa. For 2024 my word is Flourishing. My sankalpa is “I am flourishing.”

Here are some tips for creating your own Sankalpa:

1. The wording should be simple and present tense.

Although the future tense of “I will” can be infused with powerful conviction, I prefer to programme my subconscious with the belief “I am.”

“Be careful what you say after ‘I am’. Those two tiny words contain powerful magic.” ~ Jeff Foster

2. Tune into yourself and ask, “What do I really need to focus on?”

Here are some examples, but I suggest you ultimately let your Sankalpa come from you:
- I am open to change
- I nurture my wellbeing on every level
- I do work that makes my heart sing.
3. Plant your Sankalpa firmly by bringing it to mind frequently and silently repeating it as much as possible.

Especially helpful times to repeat your Sankalpa are just before going to sleep, upon waking, preceding meditation or yoga and anytime you feel relaxed. When the conscious mind relaxes, our subconscious becomes more open to whatever we want to impress on it.

4. Use a trigger.

I find it helpful to use a trigger to bring my Sankalpa to mind at random points throughout the day. Apart from meditation, waking and sleeping, whenever I see double-digits such as 11:11 I take a breath and repeat my Sankalpa three times. In addition to focussing my subconscious mind, this act is a moment when I’m fully present.

Fundamentally, what we are trying to do is replace some existing (limiting) belief that doesn’t serve us – such as, “I’m not worthy of ________” (fill in the blank) – with one that does. By focusing our attention on a key affirmation, we create a gradual inner shift in our psyche.

So if you’re also allergic to new year’s resolutions, I invite you to join me. There’s no rush to have it all figured out by January 1st. Take your time over the coming days and weeks to explore what Sankalpa feels right for you right now.

And when you find it, use it.

Here’s to mindful transformations in the coming New Year.

Thank you for reading. You might also enjoy:

Why choosing a Word for the Year is more effective than New Year Resolutions.

A version of this blog post was first published on elephantjournal.com
December 26, 2023
Forget about Resolutions and have a Slow, Self-Care January.

Photo by Brandy Kennedy on Unsplash

Despite its gloominess, I love January.

It is a long, slow month. And it’s a time when we naturally feel more inclined to hibernate than get out there and make things happen.

Many people resent how it seems to drag out and can’t wait until February arrives and life restarts. What I’ve noticed in recent years, is that once February hits, the year takes off like a rocket and we’re all chasing our tails trying to meet this and that deadline.

And before we know it, we’re closing out another year, wondering where the time went and feeling exhausted.

My response over the last two years was to embrace the slowness of January. Recognizing that I actually wanted to be low-key during this month, I decided to align with that rather than fight against it.

Instead of trying to muster all my enthusiasm to enter a state of ‘doing’, I just allow myself to relax into ‘being’. Being whatever feels right to me, day-to-day. Whatever my body and mind are craving. Some days that might actually be ‘doing’ something productive. Other days will call for more rest.

I do spend January planning for the year ahead, and getting excited about different projects. And from that place of excitement, I’m easily motivated to begin working towards them. But without the pressure of having to be ready to go as soon as January is out. Taking my time to tease things out, make tweaks and adjustments as new insights drop in.

Basically, I release myself from the ‘shoulds’ and embrace the ‘coulds’ instead.

In previous years, I would have been gung-ho from January 2nd working flat out all day every day. No naps, no mid-day walks – just all day long in front of a screen and then exhausted and numbing out in the evenings. And setting a pattern to be repeated for the rest of the year.

By feeling my way through January, I now come through the month feeling more rested and ready for the new year that awaits. Ready for the rocket that will launch in February, whether I like it or not.

And as a bonus, I have also been able to keep that thread of self-care all through the year, weaving it through my daily and weekly practices. I never consciously set the intention to join the Self-Care-Sunday movement, but I’ve naturally developed that rhythm for myself.

As a meditation teacher, I’ve had a morning ritual that I treat as a sacred practice on a daily basis for over a decade. But now, on Sunday mornings, I go deeper and longer with that. And it sets me up for the week, as much as my daily practice sets me up for the day.

And my self-care January sets me up for the year.

It’s normal and natural, when a new year lands, to have hopes and dreams. And in 2022 we’re all hoping for an improvement from the last two years. But those years have shown us very clearly, if we didn’t know it before, there is so much that happens in our world that we can’t control.

In difficult circumstances that we have to accept and deal with, the best we can do is look after our health and wellbeing. This puts us in the optimal state to cope with whatever arises. And that means taking care of our inner state of mind as much as it means getting physically strong and healthy.

Both of these aspects are important to self-care. And we each need to figure out how to craft self-care regimes that work for us individually. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions, despite the promises of many of the programs that are marketed to us every January.

Rather than getting carried away with all the ‘new year, new you’ hype – and signing up for expensive membership programs – spend January figuring out what that could look like in your life. Plan for small ways in which you can integrate it on a daily and weekly basis. Little and often is better than an occasional deep dive with no follow-through.

Carve out space for you, for those practices and activities you identify that will support you in the coming year.

And call it sacred space.

Because that’s precisely what it will become if you give yourself this time regularly. Sacred space for you, and regular self-care will be the very best resolutions you can set yourself this or any other year.

You may also be interested in:

Why I set new year intentions in February, not January.

Why self-care needs to be our top New Year Resolution, and how to do it right.

A simple meditation practice to start the new year.

January 2, 2022
Why I set New Year Intentions in February, not January.

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

It seems counter-intuitive, I know. The first of January comes with all the ‘new year, new you’ hype and it’s easy to get carried along with the tide of that energy.

But within a week 25% of people have given up, and by the end of the month only 64% are still sticking by their new year resolutions Six months into the year, that figure has further declined to 46% of us are still sticking with them.

If you tend to be one of those who quickly loses commitment then you can see you’re in plentiful company. And maybe it could serve you well to consider a different approach.

I strongly suggest waiting out January and making new year intentions just as February kicks in when we can feel ourselves beginning to pull out of the depths of winter.

Timing matters.

Setting new year intentions and resolutions early in January can be somewhat self-defeating because we have to dig quite deep to get ourselves into motion. We have to rely on willpower rather than a natural spark of energy. And willpower is a battery that can run down very quickly.

If instead, we spend the month of January playing around with ideas about what we could do (not must, or should) in the coming year and wait just a few weeks before we commit ourselves to action, we might see different results.

And the energy that starts to emerge in February can be much more helpful to make changes.

First of all, the Chinese new year falls in February – so we still have that “new year” energy lingering in the air. And in 2022 it falls on February 1st.

Secondly, from sunset on February 1st until sunset on February 2nd, we have Imbolc – the Celtic pagan fire festival that marks the beginning of a new season. Spring is just around the corner, and with it comes lighter brighter energy. More energetic energy.

The weather may often still be cold and wintry in February, but as we move into, and through the month, we start to feel a spring in our step. Like all of nature’s creations, our bodies adapt and attune to the natural rhythms. Slowly we become ready to come out of hibernation. This is a much better time to commit to changes in our habits and lifestyles.

January, on the other hand, is a long, dark, and cold month. It can feel downright gloomy. Is that kind of energy conducive to making strong and lasting changes to your habitual activities? I think not.

This first month of the year is much better suited to reflection and planning.

Dream your dreams in front of the fire throughout the coming weeks. Use the time to get clearer on what change you’re ready to bring about in your life, and how you can viably do so. Put together a strong and steady plan that you feel excited and energized to put into action – but don’t force yourself to put it into action straight away.

Notice how your energy feels, and wait until it feels strong and aligned. Wait until there is no resistance, only genuine inner enthusiasm. And don’t be surprised if you notice an eagerness growing within you as the days become longer and brighter.

Instead of browbeating yourself into these changes through the slumbering month of January, wait until the season for renewal comes around. As spring beckons, we naturally find it easier to motivate ourselves to go outdoors for a morning or evening walk or to get up earlier and start the day with a short meditation – or whatever it is you identify in the coming weeks that will support you best in the year ahead.

Hopefully, by the end of January, you’ll be in a place where you’re setting intentions that make sense for you and feel right. It’s a much different place from setting goals because of the ‘new year, new you’ bombardment of messages we receive at the end of December and early January.

So, if you absolutely must set a resolution now, let it be to dream and ponder your way through the coming month and emerge with a clear plan and a strong will in February.

Happy new year.

December 30, 2021
Spring is Coming: Why you Should Set your New Year Intentions Now.

At the beginning of January, the world is awash with new year intentions and resolutions—and before the month is out, most of them have fallen by the wayside.

There are many reasons for this, and often they stem from the place where we set them (e.g. self-loathing instead of self-love).

However, one I rarely see discussed—and which I firmly believe plays its own role—is this: it’s simply the wrong time.

January is in the depths of winter. Although the days are beginning to get longer, it’s still a dark month. And cold.

It is a time for hibernation. For deep reflection.

And for relishing in the opportunity to snuggle indoors and dream about our year ahead.

Setting new year intentions and resolutions early in this month can be somewhat self-defeating because we have to dig quite deep to get ourselves into motion. We have to rely on willpower rather than a natural spark of energy. And willpower is a battery that can run down very quickly. I’m sure it works well for the determined Type A personalities, but for the rest of us, there is an alternative approach we can choose.

If instead, we spend the month of January playing around with ideas about what we could do (not must, or should) in the coming year and wait just a few weeks before we commit ourselves to action, we might see different results.

February marks the approach of spring. We start to see more light in the mornings, as well as the evenings. And the increasing daylight has a more noticeable effect.

In the coming weeks and months, we’ll prepare the ground and start sowing seeds in our gardens and on our window sills. These seeds will grow into food to nourish our bodies and flowers to nourish our souls.

Why not align our minds with the natural rhythms of nature and choose this time to sow the seeds for our life changes too?

Spring puts a bounce in our step. If our bodies are aligned with the cycles of nature, we do feel a sense of reawakening after the slumbering months of winter. As the days and weeks go by, it becomes easier to motivate ourselves to go outdoors for a morning or evening walk, a run or a social gathering.

It makes sense that this be the time when we decide to implement changes—if we feel that’s appropriate for us.

And before we decide on how we’re going to make changes, it’s helpful to lay the foundation by decluttering. (It’s the equivalent of weeding the soil before we sow our seeds.)

If we want to welcome in something new or different, we need to make space in our lives, and spring cleaning our homes has a magically cathartic effect on our hearts and minds. Do it mindfully, holding the intention for what you want to draw into your experience, and more pertinently, how you want to experience your world.

While clearing out whatever is no longer of use, it’s helpful to reflect on the true desires underpinning our goals. What is the essence, or the feeling we want to experience? Setting intentions around that will help us to be kinder and more realistic in deciding the paths we will follow to achieve them.

While I do believe any day is a good day to start over, I also believe in harnessing the power of nature when it can help us. And right now, in nature, we are on the cusp of endings and beginnings. So now is a great time to say goodbye to what no longer serves us and make space for something new. Springtime is a better time for setting our new year intentions.

So if all your resolutions have already melted away into the river of abandoned goals, then consider revisiting them again in the coming weeks with a fresh perspective.

Image: Markus Spiske/Usplash

First published on elephant journal.

February 2, 2019
Goodbye, Hello: How to Welcome in all that 2018 Offers us.

Have you set yourself some big, hairy, audacious goals for this new year? Or some more gentle and mindful intentions?

Hell bent on “out with the old, in with the new”?

Whatever it is we desire for this year, if we want to invite new experiences and opportunities into our lives, we need to make space for them. All the goal-setting and visualisation in the world won’t make a difference if we don’t actually have the space to welcome in what we’re looking for.

Space in our schedules.

Space in our heads.

Space in our hearts.

And I know you’ll be tired of seeing this all over your newsfeed this month, but the best way to make space is to declutter. Start with your home, and allow the clearing habit to spread into all areas of your life.

Making physical space in our homes magically helps to open up space in the non-physical (but critical) aspects of our lives.

On the surface, this might seem to be crazy nonsense—but when we accept that everything is interconnected, that our outer world reflects our inner world and our inner world affects our outer world, it makes perfect sense.

Try it and see.

Decluttering our home creates a sense of well-being on all levels. We can physically relax more easily in an environment that is clear and uncluttered—and physical relaxation helps us to release mental and emotional stress.

But on a deeper level, decluttering also helps us to release emotional attachments to people, experiences, and earlier phases of lives. These attachments keep us stuck, hindering us from living fully in the present or moving fully into the future.

Letting go of stuff we’ve been hanging on to for far too long that doesn’t serve us now brings up the emotional attachments to be fully felt. And in fully feeling them, we can let them go.

I don’t know anyone who has done a clearing out of their home and not felt better for it. Yet, I know from my own experience that just the thought of getting started can be overwhelming.

To inspire myself to get going—because once we start, momentum takes over and makes it easier—I often revisit the first book that convinced me to declutter: Clear your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston.

There’s an abundance of other decluttering books to choose from, including Marie Kondo’s hugely popular The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. And there are also lots of online resources. I have joined 30-day e-courses in the past, in which you get a daily prompt to tackle a particular area of your home, and I have found them invaluable. And if you want to really take your time—with the benefit of going extra deep with the clearing—then I recommend signing up for Stephanie Bennett Vogt’s 365-day course, “A Year to Clear What is Holding You Back.”

Whether you take the fast-and-furious or the slow-and-deep route, decluttering is the first step in creating sacred space in our homes. And turning our homes into a sacred sanctuary helps us to create the space in our heads and our hearts to truly welcome in all that we desire. I encourage you to give your goals, resolutions, and intentions the best chance possible by decluttering.

Happy clearing and happy new year.

First published on elephantjournal.com

Image: Unsplash/Courtney Prather

January 5, 2018

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